“Where is the good in goodbye?”-Meredith Willson, The Music Man

So I’ve recently been a little M.I.A. from writing here for a few reasons.

// I’m currently enrolled in an online program that I’ve been slacking slightly in and needed to catch myself up a little on work.

// My husband’s job has been extremely hectic; he’s had some ceremonies we needed to attend and he’s been very busy at work with people who are leaving so we’ve been dealing with really long hours.

// Lastly, he’s unfortunately gone out to sea, not for a deployment but long enough that we wanted to spend tons of time snuggled up together.

So even though I’m almost late with this post and missed last week I thought I would get back in the swing of things.

One of the hardest things that I think spouses deal with in the military is all the goodbyes. It never gets easier no matter how many times you do it.  In the first two years of my marriage my husband left on multiple underways and a deployment… we spent a whopping three months together in a year. It’s definitely a hard life constantly having to let them leave but there are a lot of ways to deal with it and make life easier.

// Let yourself feel sad: It’s not going to be easy to say goodbye no matter how many times you do it. It also doesn’t matter if they’ve been on multiple deployments or it’s their first short trip out. It’s okay to feel sad. Sometimes the first day for me is a sweatpants all day ice cream for dinner kind of night but the next morning, pick yourself up to the sunshine and don’t sulk around the whole time. This will make the time go by so much slower.

// Find something to do while he’s gone: This is a good tip for when they leave for really long trips like deployments, especially. Find either a new project, a new hobby you’ve been meaning to try or commit to something like staying fit and eating healthy. When they come back not only will you have something new to show them, they’ll see you were productive and didn’t wallow the whole time.

// Have a good support system: Have some friends to help pick you up when you’re sad or to plan things when your spouse is gone. Sitting alone at home will make the time go by so much slower and even could make you feel worse. If there are military spouses you’re friends with that will understand what you’re going through ask them to hang out and enjoy yourself so that you’re not sitting a home alone.

Saying goodbye isn’t going to be an easy thing, I still get really emotional having to watch my husband walk away, knowing that he won’t be coming home to me every night but with the life of a military family comes the less fun parts like the goodbyes. It’s a give and take between the happy and sad moments like any other family and it’s important to enjoy the happy while they are home and accept the times they aren’t.

XOXO

-C

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